Our love story..

We met four years ago, I was 14 when I went to NMMI for my freshman year. I had two room mates while  I was there, Courtney was the second, and also the reason I met you, because she was your girlfriend. We started talking, e-mailing each other, meeting in the library to study, you even went running with me. I remember the night that we sat down next to the bleachers, we were so lost in our conversation we didn't know we were about to get in trouble for frat, or even remember that you had a girlfriend. After that night, I knew I had something special, I just didn't know then how special you truly were. We ended our year as friends, after all you were dating my "best" friend. After that the e-mails started slowing, and eventually none came at all. Three years later, the summer of 2010, I made a Facebook page, and the first person to pop up on the "people you might know" list was you. I added you and immediately soon after that we started talking again, you were deeper in your faith than ever before, and I had lost mine completely, we were only texting at the time, and you would talk to me about religion and love and all of these wonderful things in your world and all I wanted to do was listen, I wanted to know everything about you, why you were so happy, why my life was so bad and yours wasn't.The first time you called me I was so nervous, mostly because I hadn't heard your voice in three years. We talked for hours that night, we were two completely different people, but we both realized that night, that we were made for each other. I went to you for everything, the night I fell in love with you was the night, you asked if you could pray for me, and I told you yes, the fact that someone could care so much for another person that they didn't even know touched me, that night you changed my life completely. Over a month went by and I knew you were the one, by this time we were already making plans to see each other and even calling each other "babe" or "hun," so one day I got up the courage and told you that I loved you. :) You told me that you didn't want to ask me to be yours until we finally saw each other again, so we waited. On July 11, 2010 I got the call from my true best friend, Lisa, that she had lost her baby..I was on the phone with you when I got the news and I just broke down, I cried for hours on the phone with you that night, and you stayed right there with me, this night meant so much to me because it was full of pain and sorrow but also pure joy and happiness because this was the very same night you asked me to be yours. We came up with this funny idea of having two days for our anniversary, because you were in AZ, which was an hour behind NM, so when you asked me, it was midnight here, and eleven o'clock there. Soon after we began writing to each other, it took three days for your first letter to come in, I was so excited to get it, I was checking the mail every single day until I finally got it, we sent so many letters to each other, I sent you pages sweetly scented,  full of words from my heart, and even a ring, a circle that is never ending, like my love for you. You sent me things that were most precious to you, things that had more meaning than any words could describe, things that had a past, you told me your secrets, and shared your fears, you trusted me with all of your heart. For the first three months of our relationship, we spent it apart, getting to know every little detail about each other.We make the most of our time together because it's so rare, and now look at us, almost seven months together, and more in love than ever before. God made you for me, he had this planned all along :) I know he has so much more planned for us, I can't wait to see our story unfold, to see all that he has planned for us, most importantly spend the rest of my life with you, Chris, my best friend, my lover, and my future husband. I love you with all that I am, and ever will be.

Forever Young..

The second semester is almost over...this is my senior year and its already almost over. I always thought i would be so excited about graduating, but honestly i'm just scared. It's going to be over soon and i cant help but think about all of the people i am going to miss and all of the things that i will be leaving behind...why does it have to be like this? so sad and depressing...isnt it supposed to be fun and exciting? i'm sure that in the end it will be, because we made it:) twelve years of hell! and its finally over...on that day i know that i wont be the only one crying...for alot of us, we will never see eachother again, we will all go our seperate ways..some of us may even pass away and that is one of the hardest facts that we must face, we are all growing up, whether we want to or not its happening, i just pray that we all let our last year go out with a bang, these are the beginning days to the rest of our lives as adults..lets go class of 2011!! we ARE forever young!

the strength of a kiss...

The other day i happend to come accross an article that was about the simple gesture of blowing kisses. I read on and the article turned out to be something like this.....The womans mother had just came out of surgery, she had just had a histerectame(not sure is thats spelld right) she didnt even have enough strength to pick up her hand, well the mother was sharing a room with another woman that was dying and was just about to head into surgery, the mother and other woman had never spoken before, they didnt know eachother. When the nurses came into the room to wheel out the other woman, the daughter just so heppend to catch her mother smile at the woman passing by, and blow her a kiss...the woman inreturn blew one back, the part that struck her daughter was the fact that she had never truly understood the powers of a kiss. what she witnessed was one of the most meaningful acts of humankind. This simple gesture had so much meaning behind it, a kiss means so much, weather its a kiss on the cheek, or a kiss on the lips, it has power! We go through our days never noticing the beauty in our everyday lives....

hybrid animals in digital media..

last week we started working on creating hybrid animals, which basically means, two animals that form into one, and i just wanted to show you what i was able to create:)

thoughts on art....

When you think about art, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? is it a paint brush? a pencil? a camera? As a young artist i try to get my viewers to see the world as I do. Every artist does this, but do we ever succeed? now a days everyone has their own opinion of art, and thats what makes you either a succesful artist, or just one that can't make it..

The beginning..

    welcome to the life of Santana Gonzales, also know as Tana... a nickname my darling brother gave me after I was born. I'm new to this whole blogging thing so bear with me if these first few entries are a little....crappy. so let's start off with a little bio of myself....I'm seventeen, from a very small town, finishing my senior year, and entering the "adult" life by working through school. For being seventeen I have my head on pretty straight, I know what I'm supposed to do and when to do them (my momm always tells me im 17 going on 30), but i guess having to grow up the way i did does that to you. I'm not going to get into the big story of my non-existing childhood so don't worry. I'm just going to tell you about the most important people in my life right now...the one's that I love. I'm the youngest of three, the oldest being my sister, Danielle, the middle being my brother, Johnathan, and then me, Tana. I'll start with my wonderful mother, honestly without her i wouldn't be who I am today. She's beautiful beyond all imagination and I love her to death she's one of a kind, and you'll never be able to frown around her, you'll either be laughing with her, or at her:) My step-dad...well actaully dad...he's raised me like his own so I think he deserves that title. Him and my mom married May 5 of 07' i believe...I was at NMMI at the time and didn't really know him, but he made my mother happy so i didn't say anything ( my mom has been single for a very long time, she raised us alone for the longest time, and seeing her happy was all that mattered to me) he supported us in every way imaginable and as of christmas day last year, baught us our house...the first house we had ever really had, and it was really ours:) he gave us a home...and a father, I am so greatful for everything that he has done for us. My sister, Danielle AKA Di.....hmmmmm what to say about her...well we are NOTHING alike but the same in almost every way, including looks. She's young and beautiful, but doesn't always think straight...we never really talked or even liked eachother untill her first year of college, I asked her if i could stay with her for a few weeks in the summer and thats when everything changed, we realized how much we had in common and have been inseperable ever since...well that was untill about a month ago when she decided to move in with her boyfriend Rusty (Robert) and now we hardly hang out anymore...I love her with all of my heart, and I miss her alot...but hey, things like this are supposed to happen. My brother John....what to say about him...lol he's interesting....he has always been the one I hung out with growing up, I was the biggest tom boy because of him, he made me the fighter that I am today. He's always been there when I needed him the most, even when it came to the boyfriends..he's an awsome guy, and I'v enjoyed growing up with him (okay here's a breakdown, my mother, me, my brother and sister are all the same when it comes to our personalities, we are to the point that we can read eacthothers minds) so lady's he's single and hard working, but hurt him and you will feel my wrath!!!! :)  Next is the boyfriend/future husband, Christopher Kolson, aka, Chris. He is the love of my life....but it all started out when I went to NMMI in the 9th grade(3 yrs ago) he was dating my roommate, courtney, thats how I met him, and from there we just started talking as friends. Then out of the blue when I made my Facebook, and his picture just popped up out of no where!!! and then it just went from there:)  we exchanged numbers and started talking from there, he came into my life when i had just ended a three year realtionship with the biggest A-hole ever! but I wont go into details about that one either...so where was I.. oh yeah, he helped me get through some tough times, and ever since then I have the happiest person alive, he helped me find God...and love...then it just happend...we fell for eachother, we don't know why or how but we did..we hadn't seen or talked to eachother in over three years and it was like we had never stopped talking..he was my bestfriend then, just like he is now. He has taught me so many things since we starting talking...I am so very thankful to have him, because I have NEVER known love like this:) I am only seventeen and I have found TRUE love! how many people can say that? sure there's the whole puppy love thing, but trust me when I say this, you just know when it's true love...you just know. Then there's my bestie Lisa, miss Lisa....where to begin......well we didn't grow up together or anything, we actually worked together and it blossomed from there, i knew who she was but we just never really talked....at all lol, well yeah, work, our wonderful summer job at Carmike Cinemas brought us together, and we've been inseperable ever since:) she's really only the second bestfriend that happens to be a girl that I have ever had. ALOT of girls just don't like me....not sure why, they just dont....now guys on the other hand, I have alot of besty-guy friends...so that may be one issue....but whatevs:) I love her no matter what anyone says! she is special...and not specail ed:) just special, she's always been there for me, and I never had that from someone of the same sex. I love her, because she knows who she is, which is a independant, young, beautiful, smart, and talented woman, granted she is a mess, but that's what I'm here for:) I love you Leeeeeserrrss!!!! Now here's the cousins...Ariana (Ari) and Dezeray (Dezy) Me and Ari are the same age, and Dezy's older than us by about a year and a half, they are family, we all never really got along...weirdly. We actually all faught...ALOT. but now that we have all grown up we all get along very very well...we have movie nights...and drunken nights..lol we all just grew up and realized what being family really meant. Overall I have very little people in my life whom I love dearly...just know that without them I would be totally lost...and lonely...I love you all very very much. Thank you for putting up with me all of these years:) I know it's not always easy...

just some thoughts about thoughts.....

   Throughout our entire lives, things are going to happen, and when they do none of us are going to know how handle them. We believe that it was meant to happen for a reason, that its all apart of Gods plan for us. These things happen when he wants to test you the most, when he wants to see if our faith will hold strong, even while we are at our lowest of lows. He loves us no matter what we do to him, shouldn't we also love him no matter the things he does to us? I hope and pray that no matter how hard things may get, no matter what were going through, that we all keep our trust, faith and love in God.